Change gon' come

As the title implies..very soon things are going to take a very dramatic turn for myself...I won't discuss them in depth just yet but soon enough!

I will however let you know how unbelievably excited/nervous I am.  I will be pursuing things that most people either only ever dream of or simply do not even contemplate.  I've been dreaming it and contemplating it for years and guess what.  I'm making it happen.

Risk.

Such an awesome word yet so terrifying at the same time. I thrive on words such as this.  Here within just a few months I am going to be plunging headfirst into an unknown realm for myself, but an exciting one nonetheless.  As I've said time and time again, I really and truly do have big GIGANTIC plans for my life and aim to make them happen.

I haven't told too many people of my plans as of yet...for one, people think I'm pretty nuts and two, I've always enjoyed the element of surprise :)

I can't wait for the new experiences about to come thundering my way.  I can't wait to live my life to the fullest.

For all those who think they cannot pursue and accomplish your dreams, I have a little phrase for you that you'd be wise to heed to..


"Change your thinking.  Change your world."


Until next time,

Carrie

GO DO SOMETHING!

Recently I read a wonderful and beautiful book called "Kisses from Katie" of which I devoured the entire thing within just a few days.

Read more about Katie's story here: http://www.amazima.org/katiesstory.html or visit her blog at http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

I have been filled with an aching desire for years now to be a part of something bigger than my own life.  The joy of working with children and adults in need fills my heart to the brim with gladness, especially those whom none care to give the least bit of attention too.  Those are the ones who burden my heart the most.

Africa.

This country has resonated in my thoughts for years, I truly do believe God has placed so specifically Africa, in my thoughts for a purpose.  

Currently I feel as if I am floundering around in a society that focuses so intently on the completely wrong things.  Money has never has been a focus for me, I have never dreamed of ways I can become rich or pursued a career in life that will garner me most profitable in the future.  I have always been intent on pursuing what really and truly brings me to life and lights up a fiery passion in my eyes.

Helping people.

That's what does it for me.  I have, just like many other people, been on several mission trips and grew up in a church environment my entire life.  Those trips I have attended from a young age served to spark an intense passion while being a part of them, albeit brief.  When I approached my senior year of high school I did what most normal 17 year olds do and started looking into the college I wanted to attend and what career I wanted for my life.  I remember it being this incredibly strange feeling to essentially be choosing something that would shape the rest of my life (or so I thought.)  

I chose TN Tech University in Cookeville, TN (just an hour or so outside of my hometown) because number one, it was different from where everyone of my friends from high school were going.  You see, I have this problem with always coloring outside the lines with my life…anyway, I took a leap and chose Tech having only a couple acquaintances there.  Needless to say, I fell in love with the people I met and the environment around me.  College was and always will be considered one of the greatest times of my life.

However, in regards to what I was actually there for, ahem* school..I had decided to forgo my true interests in life, deeming them instead as "hobbies" and decided to choose the oh so practical major of "Marketing".   I remember this being a struggle for me at the time.  I am a wildly creative, scatter brained person who loves to write/journal, take pictures, cook, draw, create, travel, and so much more.  I remember settling on the choice of Marketing as it felt to me to be the most creative aspect of the business world.  Practical while still entailing what I love, right?  I've come to discover now that this is not the case for me by any means.  Practical is such a gross word.

I remember having it so fixed in my mind the checklist I needed to complete in order to fit in with normal society.  So I did, I studied hard, applied and acquired multiple internships, had countless interviews in search of a job, then successfully acquired one just a few weeks after my graduation in a marketing/sales position.  You think I'd be happy right?  I had the serious boyfriend, a college degree, and a brand new job just out of school.  I was living the quintessential life of a normal 22 year old.  Nothing however, could shake the feeling from deep in the back of my head (you know that one spot everyone has and tries their best to ignore?  yeah that one) telling me that "your life is not your own"  

I have tried and tried to cover it up and shove it way far down, convincing myself it's a figment of my imagination.  But it's most certainly not.  I absolutely know without a doubt I was not meant to live a "normal" life.  I do not believe that I, or really anyone, was placed on this earth to just simply go through the motions.  I'm sick of the motions.  I have the deepest strongest desire inside me to leave behind everything here and just explore, learn, help, and live…that's what people like to call "crazy".  God has been gently prodding me for years to go do something, now I feel as if he is practically shouting at me, GO DO SOMETHING!  Or as he so eloquently puts it in his own book, "be fishers of men"

I want to enjoy my life to the fullest while my body can still keep up.  I refuse to believe that everything you want  in life is impossible to accomplish.  Anyone can do anything, anyone.  The difference lies between those who just like to say "I wish I could" versus those who actually work their butts off and do it.

Folks, I think its time for me to GO DO SOMETHING and I urge the same of you.

My first blog post...

My first official blog post.  I feel so, grown-up...

One of my most favorite things in this world is taking up a pen, cracking open a well-worn notebook to a crisp new page and untangling those crazy things floating around in this head of mind into actual, somewhat, tangible thoughts.  It will be strange to transition to an electronic version of this..I'm not entirely sure yet I can tear myself away from the old fashioned method just yet..A few warnings, my writing style is...unique.  I write as my thoughts tumble out which at times can be somewhat disjointed and random, yet somehow I usually find a way to tie everything up into a nice neat little package at the end.  My advice?  Just jump in and hold on tight!

Things are..a little hard to explain for me right now.  I feel very unfulfilled with my life, this I know.  I also am very sad still in reference to the past few months.  This has truly been one of the most trying times of my life...but I have discovered, more so than I ever knew possible, just how incredibly strong I am and that is a very exhilarating experience.

I have the deepest strongest desire inside me to leave and travel the world, but do you realize how crazy that makes me seem?  However, for me, it is a desire so fierce that I feel as if I don't do it, I could never be truly happy.  So many things to be afraid of though, money and having the means being the number one issue, traveling alone as a girl, and of course, the whole people thinking I'm nuts part (which is definitely last on my list, but still)

There are people everywhere that do what they truly love and sincerely don't give a hoot about what anyone else has to say or thinks.  Happiness is their goal.  An outrageous stat of something around 78% of the workforce is unsatisfied with their jobs..excuse me???  At the ripe, young age of 22 I already find myself bordering dangerously close to this statistic as well.  I quake in fear at the prospect of that for the rest of my life...

I truly believe God has placed a burden on my heart to have experiences ridiculously outside the realm of "normalcy"

I want a story for my life.  A tapestry so intricately woven with beautiful and wondrous experiences that I could speak for years about what I saw and learned.

One day I would like to write a book.

I want to help people.

I heard a quote once and it perfectly describes my thoughts, "I want the beauty of what I love, to be what I do"

I want to act in such a fashion that I think will keep my heart most alive.

One of my favorite quotes of all time...  "When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that's when you discover the stars."

I want to be discover the stars.

-Carrie