It's oftentimes the funniest thing how I can be so fearless in my crazy ideas for my life yet after being burned big time relationship wise so hesitant to open myself up to that now.
I heard a song the other day called "Hello My Old Heart" by the Oh Hello's that basically inspired this blog post.
Nothing beats that feeling when you come across a song where the lyrics blend with the melody oh so perfectly it just jumps right into your very soul..
Couple excerpts from the song are:
"hello my old heart, how have you been? How is it, being locked away? Well don't you worry, in there you're safe. And it's true, you'll never beat, but you'll never break."
"Nothing lasts forever, some things aren't meant to be…but you'll never find the answer until you set your old heart free"
Many people can relate to a song such as this because it deals with what else?
Such a terrible thing while all at the same time such a wonderful thing. True heartbreak at its worst can feel like the most intense physical pain yet when it's past, the most liberating feeling. Clarity always follows, the old cliche to the effect of..the clouds eventually part, the rains fade away, and suddenly the sun is shining clear and bright. The length of time this takes varies for everyone and there is nothing wrong with the amount of time it does take for each heart to mend.
However the problem comes into play that when it does finally mend..you're still scared
Scared of encountering that pain again or alternatively, never being able to find the same feeling you had when it seemed so perfect. Not ever letting anyone measure up. My two long term relationships started out very similar. Simple, we were absolutely crazy about each other.
The opportunity to date seriously arose for me in both situations very quickly and guess what. I took maybe a total of 5 seconds to decide if I was going to do it and to think about the consequences..but guess what, I did it anyway. Instant.
When I come across someone or someone lands right in my lap (metaphorically of course) I look for that "instant" feeling. When it's not there, I toss it aside time after time choosing instead to just be friends because hey, you're cool but not the cool I seem to be subconsciously looking for.
However, I keep thinking that perhaps I need to grow up a little and step outside of my narrow little mindset here and expand. Guess what Carrie? The first two might have been instant but look how that turned out... There is something to that that is worth paying attention too. Maybe, just maybe, a different approach is just what the doctor ordered.
I long ago decided I would never be the person continually searching for someone. The best things in my life have been largely unplanned and unexpected. Why try and change the natural order of things now? Choosing to live my life in the way that promotes myself, family, and friends best is the most important thing to me. Everything else I know will fall right into place after that, whatever "those things" might be.
Change is a good, wonderful, healthy thing. Everyone must learn to change and adapt to the situation and their surroundings. This is how you are able to experience life at its absolute best.
More often than not, it's best to not be so darn stubborn, set in your ways, and own little world.
Otherwise, you'll miss the world.